22 January 2008 , 1/22/2008 06:32:00 PM
Engrish Paragraph Compo
Had English today. Was supposed to write a paragraph for either one fo these topics "Dirtiest Toilet I Have Ever Seen" or "A Kind Deed I Did/Witnessed" I guess I went overboard and wrote one whole essay... Here is it.
***Read Me First***
I was on a bus towards KL. It must have been the shady dealer's tapir balls satay; I needed to shit. Once hte coach reached a resting stop, I rushed into the loo immediately. I instantly regretted it.
First of all, my nose had a sensory overload. God, the toilet stank. You know how a bus full of sweating soccer dudes smells during a hot afternoon? That was how it smelt. "Chocolate cakes", "jasmine tea", used condoms and unwanted undergarments littered the floor. There were both male and female undergarments. The toilet was in a dyfunct state, pipes leaking their unsanitory contents, cracked toilet bowls, grime-covered mirros, you name it, you find it. I can even swear that there were algae growing in the stagnant waters.
"Ah dang," I thought, "Just my luck. Why this toilet of all places?" With no other choices, I entered teh cleanest looking cubicle in this toilet. It was bad. Real bad. The lock and hinges for the door had lichen and rust all over it. Worse still, the handle was coated with come kind of white, sticky substance. I refrained myself from wondering what it was. Appearantly, it was man-made. Soon, my fears were accertained of why that substance was in the toilet. I stepped on a recently used condom and slipped. Yes, it was slippery. And I meant the condom. It was also coated with the substance I found on the handle. Dang. I just touched some guy's spendings.
With my bowels urging me on, I reluctantly sat on the sticky toilet bowl. It felt surprisingly cool. I went about trying to force whatever was in my system out. Meanwhile, my eyes had a rather undesirable tour of the cubicle. Half-rotten satay sticks, dead rats and used toilet paper (with whatever taht it was used for stuck to it). After what seems like eternity, I finally finished my "business". "Thats strange, what happened to the usual 'Kaploosh' sound?" I thought.
I stood up as the horrible fact struck me. I turned around and stared at the toilet bowl. It was full to the brim with whatever the past users dumped in it. There was even dead flies stuck in it. I had been sitting of shit the whole time. Shoot.
I spent the next five minutes cleaning my butt with the low-quality toilet paper provided. At least it was clean. Being the considerate person I am, I flushed the toilet. Only to regret it a few seconds later. The toilet bowl rumbled and shook. Algae infested water started to fill the toilet bowl. Very soon, the water pressure built up. Suddenly, the contents of the toilet bowl flew everywhere. The toilet bowl literally exploded. And I was caught in the midst of flying shit. Then I thought, "Fountain!"
So my trip to the toilet left me stinking like the toilet itself and even better, the bus left without me! What a great holiday to KL.